Here it is: the final post (Of the semester, anyway).
Bear with me; this is an extremely long reflection in response to six questions. I have a lot to say, and I am going to say it. So there.
1. Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be ends in themselves, but are intended to facilitate a person's journey into greater freedom in living a Christ-like life. How did your practice for the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith in and obedience to God?
This semester, I learned a lot. I began with so much drive and optimism because I was starting this living-learning community, I was living with friends I loved and everything was great. I felt that if there was ever a time to grow spiritually, it was now. Spiritual Formation has been a class I have looked forward to taking ever since I started college. I entered the class hoping to learn about new ways to grow closer to God. Little did I know that not only would I have a few new tools in my toolbox of spirituality, but I would come away with a new perspective on spiritual disciplines. I have been-- get ready for the buzzword-- transformed.
What was my old view? That spiritual disciplines were for the radical. They were for the super-spiritual, the eccentric, the educated. What is my new view? The spiritual disciplines are for everybody. There must be some level of education that comes along with practicing them, but spiritual disciplines are not only for the high and mighty. They are for the busy people and the unoccupied people. They are for the new Christian and the seasoned Christian. Additionally, the spiritual disciplines are not just for experimenting. They are meant to be practiced over and over again so that we can experience true growth.
Thus, one way I have grown this semester is in increased appreciation for the spiritual disciplines. But that's not all.
I am not sure what people on the outside perceive, but within myself I know I have changed from the person I was at the beginning of the semester. This is due to many factors, not just the disciplines, but as I examine my inward self I see transformation. I see within myself a new spirit of peace. I have plenty of things to be anxious about, but I have been training my mind to focus on God rather than myself. Almost all the disciplines we practiced enforced this type of attitude: simplicity, study, confession, fasting, solitude... through these God has been slowly scraping off my shell of anxiety and replacing it with a gentle shroud of peace. I have come to more easily put the little things in God's hands and let him have his way. As I have done so, I have seen many rewards.
One example of this is that I began to practice the Sabbath out of inspiration from the class. I did my best to avoid doing homework on Sundays, although sometimes it was inevitable. Even so, I was amazed with how God used those times to work on my heart. I read the Bible a lot this semester. I was able to interact with different people on Sundays. And somehow, my homework always managed to get done, as though God opened up extra hours in the day so that I could have Sundays to rest in Him. Anyway, that is just a little bit of a tangent, but I have seen these practical and also somewhat intangible examples of growth in myself this semester.
2. What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing, or practicing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester? What does this show you about yourself? How do you plan to address this area (or these ares) of struggle?
My biggest distraction was time, to be honest. I noticed as I read my blogs that though I practiced the disciplines, I started to get lazy with them. I still enjoyed practicing them and learned a lot, but I was not always as invested as I could be. This was due to the fact that I had so much going on academically, especially in October and the beginning of November. It was like a never-ending flood of midterms, papers, presentations and projects. I felt like this spiritual formation homework could not take as much time as it deserved, since I had so many other things on my plate. One thing I think this shows me is that I over-commit. I have known this about myself forever, but it was never more true than this semester. I have to work on not doing too much, but choosing to do the things that matter. At this point, there is not much I can do to avoid the busyness. I took a few less hours at one of my jobs for next semester, but that was all I could shave off. However, I have been contemplating upping the ante for my Sabbath rest by spending time volunteering at church. This is still in the beginning stages, and there are many factors that will affect whether I do it or not. I do not want to do too much, but I feel like church is, first of all, an important place to invest time, and second of all, a rest from the usual tasks I find myself doing.
All in all, I have been learning that God cares about how spend our time. When I have given time to him, he has blessed me in return. I am going to continue to focus on spending time for him, rather than myself.
3. Identify three disciplines you think mesh together well and explain how you see them interrelating. How would you plan to practice them together?
Three disciplines I think mesh well together are solitude, meditation, and fasting. They all contribute to each other, I believe. Meditation is best done while one is in solitude. Solitude contributes to a more focused fasting experience. Fasting encourages deeper meditation. It's like a cycle, At least, that is what I thought as I practiced each of these. Depriving myself of food and of people is a good way for me to take the priority off myself and focus it on God. I struggled when I practiced meditation, but I have a feeling that by adding solitude and fasting to meditation, I will better be able to focus on the one thing I have left: God. **Sidenote: I am smiling to myself as I write this. We learned about the desert fathers this semester, and how they cut themselves off from society and did crazy spiritual warfare out in the wilderness. I thought they were crazy. But here I am, describing what is essentially a desert fathers experience, as a good way to draw closer to God. Yikes. Yet, here are my two cents: Yes, these practices will help me personally. But they will probably not benefit those around me. Thus, after I have my "desert fathers experience", I will be intentional about being a blessing to those I interact with as a result of my own personal growth. In this way, I hope to go beyond what those crazy desert dwellers did.
4. Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice. How would you instruct them in the discipline? Why do you think this discipline is especially well-suited to the formation of a new believer?
One discipline I would encourage a new believer to practice is worship. I think this discipline is well-suited to the formation of a new believer because often we are not purposefully invested in worship. As I said in my blog post about worship, we come to church and sing and leave with a spiritual high, but that is about it. In my post, I talked about practicing preparation. I learned that preparation is an important part of worship. When I prepare, it's like doing warm-ups before a soccer game. I warm up so it won't take me twenty minutes to get into the flow of playing. This way, I can play to the best of my ability the whole time. It is essentially the same in worship. When we prepare, we are able to appreciate how the worship leader has formed the service, we are able to genuinely interact with our fellow church members, and we are ready to listen to what the preacher has been led to speak about that day. It's pointless to only half participate; therefore let's do what we can to contribute the most and get the most from our worship experience. I would probably explain this discipline to a new believer the way I just did. I will explain to them that church is an important aspect of becoming a Christian. In our society, it seems to be a fad for people to say that they like "Jesus" but don't like "religion." I don't want to let my newly believing friends to fall into this trap. Church may seem "religious" but it is a beautiful way to interact with God and with the body of believers. Once again, I tangent. Summary: Preparing for worship is beneficial to a new Christian because it helps them grow spiritually and keeps them safe from the lies that society may tell them about Christianity.
5. Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians have battled against. Identify and describe an area of weakness you observe in the Kuyper College student population. What spiritual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?
One area of weakness I think I see in the Kuyper College community is that as a whole, we have a huge ego. We are all so proud of our knowledge of the Bible and our calling to do ministry. So many of us think we already know it all and that whatever way we act is automatically God-honoring. We tend to broadcast the good things we do but avoid the bad. We will bring up prayer requests in class for a friend who is struggling spiritually, but never for ourselves. This is why I think confession would be a good practice for the whole community of Kuyper College to try. Being truly honest about what our daily struggles and sins are can be a freeing and humbling experience. If people here were able to confess their sins with each other, it would help us remember that we all have sin. This realization can in turn help us even more in our ministry as we witness to other people who struggle with sin and are searching for forgiveness.
6. What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper College who will be practicing these disciplines?
A piece of advice I would give to students taking spiritual formation next semester is: TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! It could be easy to practice these disciplines on a surface level without truly trying to grow. I began this semester excited about what were going to do... and I am still excited about it. By allowing God to truly use these disciplines to transform you, you will see yourself become involved in a deeper relationship with Him.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Submission... for sissies?
I cringe when I hear the word, "submit."
It sounds so ominous and intimidating, like a teacher walking around the classroom while students take a test.
In high school, if someone told me I had to submit, I would say, "Submission is for sissies." When I think of submission, I think of giving up. I think of surrendering the white flag and hanging your head down as your opponent walks all over you.
Newsflash: THAT'S NOT WHAT SUBMISSION REALLY IS.
...What?
Foster puts it like this: "Submission... is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way."
For me, sometimes that is a very hard thing. I am a somewhat spoiled child (even though we may have had a simple childhood as I've said previously, that didn't mean that our parents didn't spoil us) who gets her way often.
It takes a lot for me to admit that I am wrong. I will own up to that weakness in my life. Therefore, thinking of submission as a freedom from getting our own way is something of an epiphany for me. Instead of being a pushover, having a submissive spirit is allowing yourself to love another person completely. I like that. I like that a lot.
Therefore, this week I planned to practice submission by generally having a submissive spirit. I did well at the beginning of the weekend when I began my practice. On Friday, my laptop crashed. I took a deep breath and set it aside to think about it later when I could take it to the IT department. I also went to get church directory pictures taken, and the schedule was way behind, so my family and I had to wait much longer than anticipated. I took that as an opportunity to be patient with the staff by not complaining. On Saturday, someone asked me for a ride to a party and even though I was not planning on driving, I said yes, because it was a way to show that person love. On Sunday night, I had to listen to someone try to explain the Bible who honestly is not that engaging of a speaker. I took that as an opportunity to honor that speaker by paying attention as best I could and praying for a patient heart. And in the beginning of the week, when I had to encounter a professor I can't stand stand, I prayed for a submissive spirit that would allow me to show the proper respect to them and not complain about everything they said.
I was by no means perfect this week. I complained and rolled my eyes and put in my two cents when I had the chance, even if it was unnecessary But it was during these instances that I reminded myself to practice submission and try to approach life with a content and joyful spirit, no matter the circumstances. As I practiced, I thought, "Why can't I have this attitude all the time?" It was really good for me, especially since this was the last week of classes and I had plenty of things to stress me out. This was a great discipline to end the semester on. I plan to continue to remind myself to let go of my ego and let God take over. It surprised me how often I was able to remind myself this week to practice submission, and I fully believe it was God working on my heart. This is a lesson I need to learn, and God knows that, so he was really driving the point home. I learned that submission isn't for sissies. It takes some guts to let others have their way.
Peace to you,
Sara Joy
P.S. Don't worry, even though it's the end of the semester this isn't my last post! A few more to come. :)
It sounds so ominous and intimidating, like a teacher walking around the classroom while students take a test.
In high school, if someone told me I had to submit, I would say, "Submission is for sissies." When I think of submission, I think of giving up. I think of surrendering the white flag and hanging your head down as your opponent walks all over you.
Newsflash: THAT'S NOT WHAT SUBMISSION REALLY IS.
...What?
Foster puts it like this: "Submission... is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way."
For me, sometimes that is a very hard thing. I am a somewhat spoiled child (even though we may have had a simple childhood as I've said previously, that didn't mean that our parents didn't spoil us) who gets her way often.
It takes a lot for me to admit that I am wrong. I will own up to that weakness in my life. Therefore, thinking of submission as a freedom from getting our own way is something of an epiphany for me. Instead of being a pushover, having a submissive spirit is allowing yourself to love another person completely. I like that. I like that a lot.
Therefore, this week I planned to practice submission by generally having a submissive spirit. I did well at the beginning of the weekend when I began my practice. On Friday, my laptop crashed. I took a deep breath and set it aside to think about it later when I could take it to the IT department. I also went to get church directory pictures taken, and the schedule was way behind, so my family and I had to wait much longer than anticipated. I took that as an opportunity to be patient with the staff by not complaining. On Saturday, someone asked me for a ride to a party and even though I was not planning on driving, I said yes, because it was a way to show that person love. On Sunday night, I had to listen to someone try to explain the Bible who honestly is not that engaging of a speaker. I took that as an opportunity to honor that speaker by paying attention as best I could and praying for a patient heart. And in the beginning of the week, when I had to encounter a professor I can't stand stand, I prayed for a submissive spirit that would allow me to show the proper respect to them and not complain about everything they said.
I was by no means perfect this week. I complained and rolled my eyes and put in my two cents when I had the chance, even if it was unnecessary But it was during these instances that I reminded myself to practice submission and try to approach life with a content and joyful spirit, no matter the circumstances. As I practiced, I thought, "Why can't I have this attitude all the time?" It was really good for me, especially since this was the last week of classes and I had plenty of things to stress me out. This was a great discipline to end the semester on. I plan to continue to remind myself to let go of my ego and let God take over. It surprised me how often I was able to remind myself this week to practice submission, and I fully believe it was God working on my heart. This is a lesson I need to learn, and God knows that, so he was really driving the point home. I learned that submission isn't for sissies. It takes some guts to let others have their way.
Peace to you,
Sara Joy
P.S. Don't worry, even though it's the end of the semester this isn't my last post! A few more to come. :)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Solitude and Silence
I suck at being alone.
I mean, I am terrified of it. That can be seen by the title of this blog-- transforming in community. I do not enjoy transforming all by myself.
However, I do have this inner longing to be closer with God. Everyone does.
The thought of practicing this discipline was the most terrifying for me. But now, as I have practiced it and given it some thought, I have left it with a sense of inner peace I have not felt in-- well, maybe my whole life. In some ways, I wish I was still alone, instead of being in a house full of people as I type this on my laptop. So, let me give you a run-down on what I did week's spiritual practice.
Mode of practice: walk around Reeds Lake; a path that is a little over 4 miles long. Alone.
Equipment: Underarmour shirt-1. Warm sweatshirt-1. Outer shell-1. Wool socks-2. Ski hat-1. Scarf, wrapped numerous times around ears, neck and chin-1. Cozy gloves-2. iPod- none. Cellphone- silent. Car keys- 1 set.
As I walked, all I did was think. Well, sometimes I thought. Sometimes I just rested and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.
I had no life-altering revelations, but that was not what I was going for here (I've learned throughout the course of this semester that these disciplines require repeated practice if we truly want to have deep growth happen inside of us). Instead, I have a few observations for you.
Observation 1: I can't be silent.
I really can't. When I am alone, I usually sing to myself. Or talk to myself. I tried really, really hard to stay quiet so I wouldn't distract myself. A few times, the words of a song would spit themselves out of my mouth, but after I realized what I was doing, I stopped again. Not that I think there is anything wrong with talking. However, I found the silence to be invigorating. I didn't want to disrupt it. The only words I spoke the whole time I was alone were while I was in the car, after my walk. A driver committed a certain driving violation, and, in my snarky way, I had to tell her off in the safety of my own car. I was a little disappointed in myself that all I had to say was something negative, but there you go. I am depraved.
Observation 2: There is always a rhythm.
As I walked, my shoes pounded out a slow, steady beat. And, since I always have at least one song running through my head, the beat kept the song going. As soon as I began walking the trail, the words to "I Surrender All" came into my head. For a full hour and a half I repeated over and over, "All to Jesus, I surrender. All to him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him; in his presence daily live. I surrender all. All to thee, my blessed Savior. I surrender all." So, as I walked, I surrendered it all. Something I noticed about this process was that as I surrendered, I was comforted. By this point in my walk, I was completely zoned in on me and Jesus. I was not allowing myself to stress about anything else. So as I surrendered, I did not worry about what God would do. I didn't even manufacture the feeling of contentment that I sometimes do. I genuinely gave it to him. And instead of feeling out of control and anxious, I felt free.
Observation 3: Snow.
It snowed. So very much. And no matter which direction I was walking, somehow the snow managed to always be flying directly in my face. But that is not the point. I noticed as I walked that the snowflakes were falling perfectly-- I could see each six-pointed shape as it cascaded down from the sky. Each one would rest on the path for a moment, and then disappear. I put my hands out in front of me and caught a snowflake. A perfect one. I let it rest on my glove for a solid three minutes. I must have looked like a complete lunatic to the few cars that drove by-- walking slowly, staring intently at my glove. But I didn't care. I was amazed at the tiny crystal in my hand. I felt like it was my duty to protect this little guy from danger. After I turned the snowflake over and over in my hand, I decided it was time to say goodbye. I breathed on it, once, twice, three times, ever so gently. And it slowly, peacefully, melted away. A few minutes later, as I stared up in the sky, a sense of the wonder at creation overwhelmed me and I felt myself begin to cry. I let the emotion roll over me and through me and around me until all I could feel was awe. Our God is amazing and beautiful.
Observation 4: Sounds
I heard my footsteps, my breathing, the rustle of my coat. I heard the wind whip through the trees. I heard the heavy snowflakes fall on the pavement. I heard cars drive by. I heard people talking. I heard police sirens. I heard a squirrel romping through crunchy leaves. I heard the leaves crinkle on the pathway.I heard it all, and closed my eyes, so I could hear more. It amazing how many sounds you can find when you are being silent.
Observation 5: It wasn't as bad as I thought.
I didn't want it to end. That is, until I reached the three mile mark and the snow really started pelting my face. I couldn't see, I was freezing cold and my foot kind of hurt. But I wanted to remain in the silence. I wanted to keep being alone with God. We talked; although I mostly talked. And sometimes we were quiet together, but God was there the whole time. I was afraid to go into the world and be distracted from the connection I had with God while I was alone with Him. I'm managing, but I look forward to practicing this discipline again.
And those are my observations. Maybe not profound or life-altering, but they are real. Ultimately, I learned the value of solitude and silence. Hopefully I can begin to translate this practice into my everyday life; finding ways to be alone with God even when I'm not all alone on a sidewalk being attacked by a snowstorm.
Peace to you,
Sara Joy
However, I do have this inner longing to be closer with God. Everyone does.
The thought of practicing this discipline was the most terrifying for me. But now, as I have practiced it and given it some thought, I have left it with a sense of inner peace I have not felt in-- well, maybe my whole life. In some ways, I wish I was still alone, instead of being in a house full of people as I type this on my laptop. So, let me give you a run-down on what I did week's spiritual practice.
Mode of practice: walk around Reeds Lake; a path that is a little over 4 miles long. Alone.
Equipment: Underarmour shirt-1. Warm sweatshirt-1. Outer shell-1. Wool socks-2. Ski hat-1. Scarf, wrapped numerous times around ears, neck and chin-1. Cozy gloves-2. iPod- none. Cellphone- silent. Car keys- 1 set.
As I walked, all I did was think. Well, sometimes I thought. Sometimes I just rested and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.
I had no life-altering revelations, but that was not what I was going for here (I've learned throughout the course of this semester that these disciplines require repeated practice if we truly want to have deep growth happen inside of us). Instead, I have a few observations for you.
Observation 1: I can't be silent.
I really can't. When I am alone, I usually sing to myself. Or talk to myself. I tried really, really hard to stay quiet so I wouldn't distract myself. A few times, the words of a song would spit themselves out of my mouth, but after I realized what I was doing, I stopped again. Not that I think there is anything wrong with talking. However, I found the silence to be invigorating. I didn't want to disrupt it. The only words I spoke the whole time I was alone were while I was in the car, after my walk. A driver committed a certain driving violation, and, in my snarky way, I had to tell her off in the safety of my own car. I was a little disappointed in myself that all I had to say was something negative, but there you go. I am depraved.
Observation 2: There is always a rhythm.
As I walked, my shoes pounded out a slow, steady beat. And, since I always have at least one song running through my head, the beat kept the song going. As soon as I began walking the trail, the words to "I Surrender All" came into my head. For a full hour and a half I repeated over and over, "All to Jesus, I surrender. All to him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him; in his presence daily live. I surrender all. All to thee, my blessed Savior. I surrender all." So, as I walked, I surrendered it all. Something I noticed about this process was that as I surrendered, I was comforted. By this point in my walk, I was completely zoned in on me and Jesus. I was not allowing myself to stress about anything else. So as I surrendered, I did not worry about what God would do. I didn't even manufacture the feeling of contentment that I sometimes do. I genuinely gave it to him. And instead of feeling out of control and anxious, I felt free.
Observation 3: Snow.
It snowed. So very much. And no matter which direction I was walking, somehow the snow managed to always be flying directly in my face. But that is not the point. I noticed as I walked that the snowflakes were falling perfectly-- I could see each six-pointed shape as it cascaded down from the sky. Each one would rest on the path for a moment, and then disappear. I put my hands out in front of me and caught a snowflake. A perfect one. I let it rest on my glove for a solid three minutes. I must have looked like a complete lunatic to the few cars that drove by-- walking slowly, staring intently at my glove. But I didn't care. I was amazed at the tiny crystal in my hand. I felt like it was my duty to protect this little guy from danger. After I turned the snowflake over and over in my hand, I decided it was time to say goodbye. I breathed on it, once, twice, three times, ever so gently. And it slowly, peacefully, melted away. A few minutes later, as I stared up in the sky, a sense of the wonder at creation overwhelmed me and I felt myself begin to cry. I let the emotion roll over me and through me and around me until all I could feel was awe. Our God is amazing and beautiful.
Observation 4: Sounds
I heard my footsteps, my breathing, the rustle of my coat. I heard the wind whip through the trees. I heard the heavy snowflakes fall on the pavement. I heard cars drive by. I heard people talking. I heard police sirens. I heard a squirrel romping through crunchy leaves. I heard the leaves crinkle on the pathway.I heard it all, and closed my eyes, so I could hear more. It amazing how many sounds you can find when you are being silent.
Observation 5: It wasn't as bad as I thought.
I didn't want it to end. That is, until I reached the three mile mark and the snow really started pelting my face. I couldn't see, I was freezing cold and my foot kind of hurt. But I wanted to remain in the silence. I wanted to keep being alone with God. We talked; although I mostly talked. And sometimes we were quiet together, but God was there the whole time. I was afraid to go into the world and be distracted from the connection I had with God while I was alone with Him. I'm managing, but I look forward to practicing this discipline again.
And those are my observations. Maybe not profound or life-altering, but they are real. Ultimately, I learned the value of solitude and silence. Hopefully I can begin to translate this practice into my everyday life; finding ways to be alone with God even when I'm not all alone on a sidewalk being attacked by a snowstorm.
Peace to you,
Sara Joy
Friday, November 16, 2012
Simply seeking God
When I think of simplicity, the words of Henry David Thoreau echo in my mind: Simplify, simplify, simplify!
All right, already. I think I got the message, Henry.
In this day and age of Pinterest and smartphones and credit cards the call to simplify can seem like a call from the past. Even Christians get sucked into our materialistic culture and ask, "Didn't God bless me with money so I can have all these nice things?"
Umm.... hate to break it to you, but probably not.
Living simply is a way for Christians to truly utilize the gifts they have been given to do better for others. Christians can be generous with the things they have and avoid getting things they do not need. In a society where we encounter millions of advertisements a day, it is hard to make the distinction between what we want and what we need, but a distinction there is nonetheless. What helps us to make the distinction is laid out for us in Matthew 6:33:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
When we put God first, everything falls into place. No matter how many times I hear this, it still rings true. When we put God first, the things we own and invest our money in do not seem to matter as much. When we put God first, living simply becomes the natural thing to do.
The idea of living simply is not a new one to me. Growing up, my parents did not buy things we did not need. I had a strict dress code/ uniform in high school which meant my clothes back then were simple. It was never the "things" that mattered. Sometimes I was a little bit embarrassed that we didn't have cable television or a cottage to go to in the summertime, but they were not things I missed when I was growing up (instead I learned to enjoy my friends' cottages and cable TV).
Interestingly enough, it was not until I started college that I started to grow away from the simple lifestyle I was used to. I was free to do what I wanted; to have the the things I wanted (and needed). I formed vanity about all my unique things-- my polka-dotted frying pan, my pink antique lamp, my exotic futon. The few extra dollars it cost to have something unique over the standard item was well worth it in my eyes.
This thinking overwhelmingly applied to clothes. In part because of the dress code I grew up with, I had a limited selection of "normal" clothes. When I got to college, I bought clothes left and right. Even so, I do not have an excessive amount of clothes. What I do have is an assortment of pieces that I take great pride in. I love this yellow cardigan, and those pink pants, and that blue scarf. When I get dressed in the morning, I look forward to the compliments I am sure to get that day on my outfit. And if anyone dares to have the same item of clothing as I do, it immediately goes to the bottom of the drawer. Uniqueness is my thing. Don't mess with it.
So now I sound like a psychotic protector of clothing. I'm not crazy, I promise. I just want to give some background in order to explain what I chose to do for my practice of simplicity this week. After much thought and wrestling, I decided to wear only plain t-shirts and jeans for a week. As in the free, box-shaped t-shirts that you get from visiting colleges and doing service projects. I have plenty of those, and I only wear them when I work out (which has become a rare occurrence recently).
I forgot on the first day of my practice, grabbing an outfit that I looked forward to wearing that day. Then I remembered: t-shirt! So I sadly put away my sophisticated clothes and put on my purple Kuyper College tee. At least I was showing some school spirit.
And, just like that, I got through this week. Acting out the practice did not bring me any spiritual epiphanies, although I did realize that dressing simply is SO much quicker and easier than stressing about choosing clothes for the day. I also learned that people liked me when I wore plain clothes just as much as when I dressed up (my boyfriend was sure to remind me I am still beautiful even when my hair is in a ponytail and I'm wearing a t-shirt. Love that guy). So maybe the overall thing I will take away from this week is that simplicity breeds contentment. I knew that I was not trying to impress others, so why would I waste time wishing I was gaining other people's approval? I was content in my own skin and enjoyed the peace that brought to my surprisingly hectic week.
However, as hinted at before, I did not do a good job of truly seeking God this week. My real spiritual challenge came at the beginning of the week when I was deciding how to practice this discipline. God did work on my heart then, and I have been convicted about the worth I put into my necessary but *unique* possessions. I seek to continue working on that. I have been especially convicted about seeking God's kingdom first. I have been distracted the past few days, but I want to get back on track.
So I'm seeking first his kingdom. I look forward to the simplicity that will hopefully follow.
Thanks for reading,
Sara Joy
All right, already. I think I got the message, Henry.
In this day and age of Pinterest and smartphones and credit cards the call to simplify can seem like a call from the past. Even Christians get sucked into our materialistic culture and ask, "Didn't God bless me with money so I can have all these nice things?"
Umm.... hate to break it to you, but probably not.
Living simply is a way for Christians to truly utilize the gifts they have been given to do better for others. Christians can be generous with the things they have and avoid getting things they do not need. In a society where we encounter millions of advertisements a day, it is hard to make the distinction between what we want and what we need, but a distinction there is nonetheless. What helps us to make the distinction is laid out for us in Matthew 6:33:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
When we put God first, everything falls into place. No matter how many times I hear this, it still rings true. When we put God first, the things we own and invest our money in do not seem to matter as much. When we put God first, living simply becomes the natural thing to do.
The idea of living simply is not a new one to me. Growing up, my parents did not buy things we did not need. I had a strict dress code/ uniform in high school which meant my clothes back then were simple. It was never the "things" that mattered. Sometimes I was a little bit embarrassed that we didn't have cable television or a cottage to go to in the summertime, but they were not things I missed when I was growing up (instead I learned to enjoy my friends' cottages and cable TV).
Interestingly enough, it was not until I started college that I started to grow away from the simple lifestyle I was used to. I was free to do what I wanted; to have the the things I wanted (and needed). I formed vanity about all my unique things-- my polka-dotted frying pan, my pink antique lamp, my exotic futon. The few extra dollars it cost to have something unique over the standard item was well worth it in my eyes.
This thinking overwhelmingly applied to clothes. In part because of the dress code I grew up with, I had a limited selection of "normal" clothes. When I got to college, I bought clothes left and right. Even so, I do not have an excessive amount of clothes. What I do have is an assortment of pieces that I take great pride in. I love this yellow cardigan, and those pink pants, and that blue scarf. When I get dressed in the morning, I look forward to the compliments I am sure to get that day on my outfit. And if anyone dares to have the same item of clothing as I do, it immediately goes to the bottom of the drawer. Uniqueness is my thing. Don't mess with it.
So now I sound like a psychotic protector of clothing. I'm not crazy, I promise. I just want to give some background in order to explain what I chose to do for my practice of simplicity this week. After much thought and wrestling, I decided to wear only plain t-shirts and jeans for a week. As in the free, box-shaped t-shirts that you get from visiting colleges and doing service projects. I have plenty of those, and I only wear them when I work out (which has become a rare occurrence recently).
I forgot on the first day of my practice, grabbing an outfit that I looked forward to wearing that day. Then I remembered: t-shirt! So I sadly put away my sophisticated clothes and put on my purple Kuyper College tee. At least I was showing some school spirit.
And, just like that, I got through this week. Acting out the practice did not bring me any spiritual epiphanies, although I did realize that dressing simply is SO much quicker and easier than stressing about choosing clothes for the day. I also learned that people liked me when I wore plain clothes just as much as when I dressed up (my boyfriend was sure to remind me I am still beautiful even when my hair is in a ponytail and I'm wearing a t-shirt. Love that guy). So maybe the overall thing I will take away from this week is that simplicity breeds contentment. I knew that I was not trying to impress others, so why would I waste time wishing I was gaining other people's approval? I was content in my own skin and enjoyed the peace that brought to my surprisingly hectic week.
However, as hinted at before, I did not do a good job of truly seeking God this week. My real spiritual challenge came at the beginning of the week when I was deciding how to practice this discipline. God did work on my heart then, and I have been convicted about the worth I put into my necessary but *unique* possessions. I seek to continue working on that. I have been especially convicted about seeking God's kingdom first. I have been distracted the past few days, but I want to get back on track.
So I'm seeking first his kingdom. I look forward to the simplicity that will hopefully follow.
Thanks for reading,
Sara Joy
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Studying Love
This week's post is about the spiritual practice of study.
Here's the problem: I study all the time. I go to a Bible college, where I have to take at least one Bible or Theology class every semester! I think I have a handle on what the Bible is all about.
However, if you read my Spiritual Autobiography, you may remember that reading the Word of God was the thing that drew me closer to God. I understand (and am still growing to understand) the fact that scripture is living and active. Thus, even though I am surrounded by constant study of the Bible, taking time to understand what God is trying to say to me through repetitive and concentrated study is never wasted time.
Even though I recognize the usefulness of studying the Bible, it was hard for me to come up with a way to practice this discipline, because I wanted to do something that was different from what I do in school. Thankfully, our professor recommended reading a passage of the Bible twice a day over a period of time. She specifically recommended 1 Corinthians 13, the all-too-famous love passage. I decided to take her up on that suggestion.
The first day, I was a little skeptical. As I read, I thought, "Yeah, I do a pretty good job of loving people. I am kind, I do not delight in evil, I protect the people I love. I am doing well in this area." I could also name a few people who I knew did not love very well.
And then I thought "Whoa, now, Sara. You are not approaching this text with a loving attitude." The next time I read, I tried to look at it in a different light. I examined myself. The first few verses of the chapter hit home Paul's point that anything I do is futile if it does not stem out of love. I was convicted. I fail at loving people; both the people I do like and the people I do not like. I fail at doing things out of love; I do things out of obligation or of stubbornness or selfishness. Certainly not out of love.
The next few times, I had similar convicting experiences. Then, yesterday morning and the night before, I had something of an epiphany.
First, some background: Over the past month or so, I have begun to consider changing my career path a little bit. I have started to feel a pull in a direction I never thought I would go, but is on my heart constantly. The thought of this change is so exciting to me that I have had trouble discerning whether it is change in itself that excites me, if it seems like it would be "easier" than my current path and that is what excites me, or if it is really a call from God and that is what excites me.
As I read this passage with the attitude of love, and also of contemplation, the first few verses again stuck out to me:
"If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
Okay, so this text was not the lightning bolt from the sky that I've been hoping would shed some extremely direct light on the situation. It did not say, "Choose path B." But it did help me realize how I need to approach this decision. It helped me understand how to "choose" my path.
With love.
As I make this life decision, I have to consider which path will lead me to love more. One path has all the appearance of love, but I feel like I may not be able to genuinely love in the way I am called to do so. On the other path it may be harder to discern how I will show love, but it is also the path that I will be able to love more freely in.
And maybe my attitude about that will change. I have only been meditating on this scripture for five and a half days. I still need to pray, continue to seek the wisdom of those who have been in my place before, and see the doors that God opens up for me. But this scripture is the first step on the road to making a final decision.
I'll let you know how that goes.
May your love abound,
Sara Joy
Here's the problem: I study all the time. I go to a Bible college, where I have to take at least one Bible or Theology class every semester! I think I have a handle on what the Bible is all about.
However, if you read my Spiritual Autobiography, you may remember that reading the Word of God was the thing that drew me closer to God. I understand (and am still growing to understand) the fact that scripture is living and active. Thus, even though I am surrounded by constant study of the Bible, taking time to understand what God is trying to say to me through repetitive and concentrated study is never wasted time.
Even though I recognize the usefulness of studying the Bible, it was hard for me to come up with a way to practice this discipline, because I wanted to do something that was different from what I do in school. Thankfully, our professor recommended reading a passage of the Bible twice a day over a period of time. She specifically recommended 1 Corinthians 13, the all-too-famous love passage. I decided to take her up on that suggestion.
The first day, I was a little skeptical. As I read, I thought, "Yeah, I do a pretty good job of loving people. I am kind, I do not delight in evil, I protect the people I love. I am doing well in this area." I could also name a few people who I knew did not love very well.
And then I thought "Whoa, now, Sara. You are not approaching this text with a loving attitude." The next time I read, I tried to look at it in a different light. I examined myself. The first few verses of the chapter hit home Paul's point that anything I do is futile if it does not stem out of love. I was convicted. I fail at loving people; both the people I do like and the people I do not like. I fail at doing things out of love; I do things out of obligation or of stubbornness or selfishness. Certainly not out of love.
The next few times, I had similar convicting experiences. Then, yesterday morning and the night before, I had something of an epiphany.
First, some background: Over the past month or so, I have begun to consider changing my career path a little bit. I have started to feel a pull in a direction I never thought I would go, but is on my heart constantly. The thought of this change is so exciting to me that I have had trouble discerning whether it is change in itself that excites me, if it seems like it would be "easier" than my current path and that is what excites me, or if it is really a call from God and that is what excites me.
As I read this passage with the attitude of love, and also of contemplation, the first few verses again stuck out to me:
"If I speak in human or angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
Okay, so this text was not the lightning bolt from the sky that I've been hoping would shed some extremely direct light on the situation. It did not say, "Choose path B." But it did help me realize how I need to approach this decision. It helped me understand how to "choose" my path.
With love.
As I make this life decision, I have to consider which path will lead me to love more. One path has all the appearance of love, but I feel like I may not be able to genuinely love in the way I am called to do so. On the other path it may be harder to discern how I will show love, but it is also the path that I will be able to love more freely in.
And maybe my attitude about that will change. I have only been meditating on this scripture for five and a half days. I still need to pray, continue to seek the wisdom of those who have been in my place before, and see the doors that God opens up for me. But this scripture is the first step on the road to making a final decision.
I'll let you know how that goes.
May your love abound,
Sara Joy
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Fasting and Filling
Fasting is feasting on the Word of God.
Chew on that one for a while.
When I think of fasting, I think of radical Christians who are extremely self-disciplined and in tune with the Holy Spirit. I think of people who have a holy aura about them, as though abstaining from food makes one person more righteous than another person. Additionally, I think that people who fast are crazy.
Food is good. I like it. God gave us food, which is awesome. And my mother is a good cook, which makes me enjoy food even more (when I get the chance to go home, that is). In fact, in our household, we have so many memories and inside jokes around food it's almost unreal.
I have never thought fasting from food was necessary for "normal" Christians, such as myself. I have heard that people who fast feel closer to God, but I honestly had no idea, before I fasted this weekend, what that actually meant. I have, however, fasted from things like Pinterest, Facebook, solitaire, and normal breakfast food (I ate only oatmeal ) for Lent. Fasting from those things was either a reminder to pray, or a lesson on how to spend my time in more God-honoring ways. However, fasting from these never required me to fully depend on God. When I fasted before, I tended to turn to other time-consuming things that still did not cause me to get more involved in the Word of God.
Thus, I decided to really abstain from food this time. Foster recommends starting small for beginners, so I decided to fast from lunch on Sunday to lunch on Monday, meaning I would skip two meals. I felt a little bit like I was not giving enough, but let me tell you, skipping those two meals was excruciating for me.
First of all, practically minutes after I was done eating lunch (and convincing myself I could have dessert, too), I noticed my roommate had put new candy in the our candy dish, so what did I do? Helped myself. Approximately ten minutes later, when I realized what I was doing, I spit it out. But I didn't let that one hiccup get me down. I was still feeling confident about my fast.
As dinner time rolled around, I started to feel sorry for myself. Everyone was eating! Except me. And then my roommate started snacking, and even snacks I am not a huge fan of started to sound good. I felt myself getting a teensy bit grumpy that I did not get to eat.
Then I remembered: Oh! The point of fasting is to feast on the word of God! So I started to read the Bible. And read, and read, and read. Over the period of my 22 hour fast (okay, Sunday lunch is late and I have to eat lunch early on Mondays because of my schedule, so it couldn't be a full 24 hours...) I read 21 chapters of the Bible (which is a lot for me... I'm not sure how many chapters other people try to read on a daily basis). I even started sneakily reading a chapter in one of my classes because, let me tell you, I was hungry. And when I was reading the Bible, my stomach grumbled less.
In addition to this crazy amount of Bible reading, I found myself praying more. As I was doing the dishes, I prayed. As I was worshiping on Sunday night, I had to stop singing in order to sit down and pray. Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I was convicted by the words being sung and the words in my heart.
I don't really get it. It was like this mystical thing where my dependence on food was suddenly transferred to dependence on God. I loved it.
One of the most profound things I noticed in my fast was that I didn't even have room in my brain to fall into the "normal" sins I commit. I was basically too busy to think about those sins because I was thinking about food. I feel like it is pathetic that it was so difficult for me to skip two measly meals. I kept thinking about how much I just wanted to eat. And you could say that my fixation on food was its own type of sin. But I think I also view it as a release from my usual self. This fast allowed me to draw closer to God because the thing I was struggling had to do with my very survival; it was not the trivial things that cause me to stumble. I didn't want to have anything to do with those other sins because if I did, they would take me away from my lifeline: Jesus.
So now I am trying to work on that. I am trying to remember that I really do depend on God for daily life, and that I do not have to be a victim to my sin. I am also remembering that, no, I don't have to eat that candy bar.
Even though my stomach was empty for those few hours, I was filling up with the grace of God. Thanks be to Him.
May you be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Sara Joy
Chew on that one for a while.
When I think of fasting, I think of radical Christians who are extremely self-disciplined and in tune with the Holy Spirit. I think of people who have a holy aura about them, as though abstaining from food makes one person more righteous than another person. Additionally, I think that people who fast are crazy.
Food is good. I like it. God gave us food, which is awesome. And my mother is a good cook, which makes me enjoy food even more (when I get the chance to go home, that is). In fact, in our household, we have so many memories and inside jokes around food it's almost unreal.
I have never thought fasting from food was necessary for "normal" Christians, such as myself. I have heard that people who fast feel closer to God, but I honestly had no idea, before I fasted this weekend, what that actually meant. I have, however, fasted from things like Pinterest, Facebook, solitaire, and normal breakfast food (I ate only oatmeal ) for Lent. Fasting from those things was either a reminder to pray, or a lesson on how to spend my time in more God-honoring ways. However, fasting from these never required me to fully depend on God. When I fasted before, I tended to turn to other time-consuming things that still did not cause me to get more involved in the Word of God.
Thus, I decided to really abstain from food this time. Foster recommends starting small for beginners, so I decided to fast from lunch on Sunday to lunch on Monday, meaning I would skip two meals. I felt a little bit like I was not giving enough, but let me tell you, skipping those two meals was excruciating for me.
First of all, practically minutes after I was done eating lunch (and convincing myself I could have dessert, too), I noticed my roommate had put new candy in the our candy dish, so what did I do? Helped myself. Approximately ten minutes later, when I realized what I was doing, I spit it out. But I didn't let that one hiccup get me down. I was still feeling confident about my fast.
As dinner time rolled around, I started to feel sorry for myself. Everyone was eating! Except me. And then my roommate started snacking, and even snacks I am not a huge fan of started to sound good. I felt myself getting a teensy bit grumpy that I did not get to eat.
Then I remembered: Oh! The point of fasting is to feast on the word of God! So I started to read the Bible. And read, and read, and read. Over the period of my 22 hour fast (okay, Sunday lunch is late and I have to eat lunch early on Mondays because of my schedule, so it couldn't be a full 24 hours...) I read 21 chapters of the Bible (which is a lot for me... I'm not sure how many chapters other people try to read on a daily basis). I even started sneakily reading a chapter in one of my classes because, let me tell you, I was hungry. And when I was reading the Bible, my stomach grumbled less.
In addition to this crazy amount of Bible reading, I found myself praying more. As I was doing the dishes, I prayed. As I was worshiping on Sunday night, I had to stop singing in order to sit down and pray. Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I was convicted by the words being sung and the words in my heart.
I don't really get it. It was like this mystical thing where my dependence on food was suddenly transferred to dependence on God. I loved it.
One of the most profound things I noticed in my fast was that I didn't even have room in my brain to fall into the "normal" sins I commit. I was basically too busy to think about those sins because I was thinking about food. I feel like it is pathetic that it was so difficult for me to skip two measly meals. I kept thinking about how much I just wanted to eat. And you could say that my fixation on food was its own type of sin. But I think I also view it as a release from my usual self. This fast allowed me to draw closer to God because the thing I was struggling had to do with my very survival; it was not the trivial things that cause me to stumble. I didn't want to have anything to do with those other sins because if I did, they would take me away from my lifeline: Jesus.
So now I am trying to work on that. I am trying to remember that I really do depend on God for daily life, and that I do not have to be a victim to my sin. I am also remembering that, no, I don't have to eat that candy bar.
Even though my stomach was empty for those few hours, I was filling up with the grace of God. Thanks be to Him.
May you be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Sara Joy
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Practicing Prayer (by accident)
I apologize, right off the bat, for this blog post. We were supposed to practice prayer this week, and I am pretty sure I failed.
I failed because I had planned to do one sort of prayer, and found myself doing another. The problem was, this "other" sort of prayer has been somewhat in my routine of late. It was not necessarily stretching. I did not feel like I was practicing anything new.
But I talked to God. So that should count, right?
Okay, I'll give some background.
Prayer has been on my mind in a particular way this semester because part of the living-learning community that I am a part of is that we lead Bible studies, and the one I happen to co-lead is about prayer. This Bible study is focused on what the Bible has to say about prayer, but it is also extremely practical, too. We spend a large portion of our Bible studies praying. Each week, we have a different practice of prayer that we focus on, so we all get a chance to act it out. In doing this, I have been learning about different ways to pray throughout the day.
So I feel like I took a shortcut because my practice of prayer was acted out during Bible study. I didn't mean for that to be the experience I wanted to write about, but when I looked back in Celebration of Discipline to get an idea of how I wanted to practice prayer, I realized that my prayer during Bible study addressed aspects of prayer that Foster talked about.
The best part about this prayer is that it was so organic. One of the members shared how she was struggling spiritually. As we were discussing prayer, as usual, she brought up the point that Foster addresses in Celebration of Discipline: "It is easy for us to be defeated right at the outset because we have been taught that everything in the universe is already set, and so things cannot be changed. And if things cannot be changed, why pray?"
Our Bible study turned into a prayer session for her and for the spiritual warfare that has been pervading our campus. We didn't cover all the points we had laid out to discuss, but that was not important. What was important was that we took the chance to uplift our sister. I prayed with the expectation that what we were praying for would happen, trying to exemplify the Bible pray-ers that Foster brings up right after he writes the aforementioned quote.
This also incorporated practicing prayer against evil. This semester, there has been a crazy amount of spiritual warfare. I have never felt so much spiritual oppression in my life, perhaps because I am growing spiritually and because so many people at our college are on fire for God. I have prayed against it many times in the past few months, which is why I feel guilty for writing about this prayer, because I have been practicing it a lot lately. Yet every time, it is a new battle. I am honored to be able to fight in this war and speak the name of Jesus against evil. Even so, sometimes it is hard. But I do know that the power of prayer is astounding.
Through prayer, we have the privilege to participate in God's plan. Yes, he has everything planned out, but our prayers do have significance.
The great thing is, I checked in with our struggling sister today and she is doing much better. She has felt God's presence and had some good conversations with people who have encouraged her. It was an answer to our prayer. I realized as I was checking in with her how rarely I go back to see if my prayers were answered. Sometimes when I pray for other people, it is hard, and even a little uncomfortable, to ask them how they are doing. What if God did not answer our prayer in the way we wanted? What if the cancer came back, or the student failed their exam, or the friend did get the abortion? What do we do then?
My answer would be, pray some more. Pray, as Foster advises, for guidance. When we ask for guidance before we pray, according to Foster, we will already know what God's will is. And to add to his point, praying for guidance even after our petitions go unanswered can help us understand, even the tiniest bit, why things happened the way they did. It might not be an answer that gives us complete satisfaction in the situation, but it can at least start to give us peace. And sometimes we will never understand.
I think that is all I have to say. I failed at practicing prayer because I did not go out of my way to practice what I wanted to practice. Despite my depravity, however, I was able to experience God in another prayer experience. I learned this week that it can be daunting to pray, especially because God has everything planned out. But I also learned how valuable prayer is, and what a privilege it is to commune with God, who is so big but takes the time to talk with me.
I am praying for a profound last line to this blog post, but nothing is coming to me. Maybe God doesn't want me to be earth-shattering? I don't know. I'll pray about that next.
Until next week,
Sara Joy
I failed because I had planned to do one sort of prayer, and found myself doing another. The problem was, this "other" sort of prayer has been somewhat in my routine of late. It was not necessarily stretching. I did not feel like I was practicing anything new.
But I talked to God. So that should count, right?
Okay, I'll give some background.
Prayer has been on my mind in a particular way this semester because part of the living-learning community that I am a part of is that we lead Bible studies, and the one I happen to co-lead is about prayer. This Bible study is focused on what the Bible has to say about prayer, but it is also extremely practical, too. We spend a large portion of our Bible studies praying. Each week, we have a different practice of prayer that we focus on, so we all get a chance to act it out. In doing this, I have been learning about different ways to pray throughout the day.
So I feel like I took a shortcut because my practice of prayer was acted out during Bible study. I didn't mean for that to be the experience I wanted to write about, but when I looked back in Celebration of Discipline to get an idea of how I wanted to practice prayer, I realized that my prayer during Bible study addressed aspects of prayer that Foster talked about.
The best part about this prayer is that it was so organic. One of the members shared how she was struggling spiritually. As we were discussing prayer, as usual, she brought up the point that Foster addresses in Celebration of Discipline: "It is easy for us to be defeated right at the outset because we have been taught that everything in the universe is already set, and so things cannot be changed. And if things cannot be changed, why pray?"
Our Bible study turned into a prayer session for her and for the spiritual warfare that has been pervading our campus. We didn't cover all the points we had laid out to discuss, but that was not important. What was important was that we took the chance to uplift our sister. I prayed with the expectation that what we were praying for would happen, trying to exemplify the Bible pray-ers that Foster brings up right after he writes the aforementioned quote.
This also incorporated practicing prayer against evil. This semester, there has been a crazy amount of spiritual warfare. I have never felt so much spiritual oppression in my life, perhaps because I am growing spiritually and because so many people at our college are on fire for God. I have prayed against it many times in the past few months, which is why I feel guilty for writing about this prayer, because I have been practicing it a lot lately. Yet every time, it is a new battle. I am honored to be able to fight in this war and speak the name of Jesus against evil. Even so, sometimes it is hard. But I do know that the power of prayer is astounding.
Through prayer, we have the privilege to participate in God's plan. Yes, he has everything planned out, but our prayers do have significance.
The great thing is, I checked in with our struggling sister today and she is doing much better. She has felt God's presence and had some good conversations with people who have encouraged her. It was an answer to our prayer. I realized as I was checking in with her how rarely I go back to see if my prayers were answered. Sometimes when I pray for other people, it is hard, and even a little uncomfortable, to ask them how they are doing. What if God did not answer our prayer in the way we wanted? What if the cancer came back, or the student failed their exam, or the friend did get the abortion? What do we do then?
My answer would be, pray some more. Pray, as Foster advises, for guidance. When we ask for guidance before we pray, according to Foster, we will already know what God's will is. And to add to his point, praying for guidance even after our petitions go unanswered can help us understand, even the tiniest bit, why things happened the way they did. It might not be an answer that gives us complete satisfaction in the situation, but it can at least start to give us peace. And sometimes we will never understand.
I think that is all I have to say. I failed at practicing prayer because I did not go out of my way to practice what I wanted to practice. Despite my depravity, however, I was able to experience God in another prayer experience. I learned this week that it can be daunting to pray, especially because God has everything planned out. But I also learned how valuable prayer is, and what a privilege it is to commune with God, who is so big but takes the time to talk with me.
I am praying for a profound last line to this blog post, but nothing is coming to me. Maybe God doesn't want me to be earth-shattering? I don't know. I'll pray about that next.
Until next week,
Sara Joy
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