Final Reflection

Here it is: the final post (Of the semester, anyway).

Bear with me; this is an extremely long reflection in response to six questions. I have a lot to say, and I am going to say it. So there.

1. Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be ends in themselves, but are intended to facilitate a person's journey into greater freedom in living a Christ-like life. How did your practice for the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith in and obedience to God?

This semester, I learned a lot. I began with so much drive and optimism because I was starting this living-learning community, I was living with friends I loved and everything was great. I felt that if there was ever a time to grow spiritually, it was now. Spiritual Formation has been a class I have looked forward to taking ever since I started college. I entered the class hoping to learn about new ways to grow closer to God. Little did I know that not only would I have a few new tools in my toolbox of spirituality, but I would come away with a new perspective on spiritual disciplines. I have been-- get ready for the buzzword-- transformed.
What was my old view? That spiritual disciplines were for the radical. They were for the super-spiritual, the eccentric, the educated. What is my new view? The spiritual disciplines are for everybody. There must be some level of education that comes along with practicing them, but spiritual disciplines are not only for the high and mighty. They are for the busy people and the unoccupied people. They are for the new Christian and the seasoned Christian. Additionally, the spiritual disciplines are not just for experimenting. They are meant to be practiced over and over again so that we can experience true growth.
Thus, one way I have grown this semester is in increased appreciation for the spiritual disciplines. But that's not all.
I am not sure what people on the outside perceive, but within myself I know I have changed from the person I was at the beginning of the semester. This is due to many factors, not just the disciplines, but as I examine my inward self I see transformation. I see within myself a new spirit of peace. I have plenty of things to be anxious about, but I have been training my mind to focus on God rather than myself. Almost all the disciplines we practiced enforced this type of attitude: simplicity, study, confession, fasting, solitude... through these God has been slowly scraping off my shell of anxiety and replacing it with a gentle shroud of peace. I have come to more easily put the little things in God's hands and let him have his way. As I have done so, I have seen many rewards.
One example of this is that I began to practice the Sabbath out of inspiration from the class. I did my best to avoid doing homework on Sundays, although sometimes it was inevitable. Even so, I was amazed with how God used those times to work on my heart. I read the Bible a lot this semester. I was able to interact with different people on Sundays. And somehow, my homework always managed to get done, as though God opened up extra hours in the day so that I could have Sundays to rest in Him. Anyway, that is just a little bit of a tangent, but I have seen these practical and also somewhat intangible examples of growth in myself this semester.

2. What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing, or practicing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester? What does this show you about yourself? How do you plan to address this area (or these ares) of struggle?

My biggest distraction was time, to be honest. I noticed as I read my blogs that though I practiced the disciplines, I started to get lazy with them. I still enjoyed practicing them and learned a lot, but I was not always as invested as I could be. This was due to the fact that I had so much going on academically, especially in October and the beginning of November. It was like a never-ending flood of midterms, papers, presentations and projects. I felt like this spiritual formation homework could not take as much time as it deserved, since I had so many other things on my plate. One thing I think this shows me is that I over-commit. I have known this about myself forever, but it was never more true than this semester. I have to work on not doing too much, but choosing to do the things that matter. At this point, there is not much I can do to avoid the busyness. I took a few less hours at one of my jobs for next semester, but that was all I could shave off. However, I have been contemplating upping the ante for my Sabbath rest by spending time volunteering at church. This is still in the beginning stages, and there are many factors that will affect whether I do it or not. I do not want to do too much, but I feel like church is, first of all, an important place to invest time, and second of all, a rest from the usual tasks I find myself doing.
All in all, I have been learning that God cares about how spend our time. When I have given time to him, he has blessed me in return. I am going to continue to focus on spending time for him, rather than myself.


3. Identify three disciplines you think mesh together well and explain how you see them interrelating. How would you plan to practice them together?

Three disciplines I think mesh well together are solitude, meditation, and fasting. They all contribute to each other, I believe. Meditation is best done while one is in solitude. Solitude contributes to a more focused fasting experience. Fasting encourages deeper meditation. It's like a cycle, At least, that is what I thought as I practiced each of these. Depriving myself of food and of people is a good way for me to take the priority off myself and focus it on God. I struggled when I practiced meditation, but I have a feeling that by adding solitude and fasting to meditation, I will better be able to focus on the one thing I have left: God. **Sidenote: I am smiling to myself as I write this. We learned about the desert fathers this semester, and how they cut themselves off from society and did crazy spiritual warfare out in the wilderness. I thought they were crazy. But here I am, describing what is essentially a desert fathers experience, as a good way to draw closer to God. Yikes. Yet, here are my two cents: Yes, these practices will help me personally. But they will probably not benefit those around me. Thus, after I have my "desert fathers experience", I will be intentional about being a blessing to those I interact with as a result of my own personal growth. In this way, I hope to go beyond what those crazy desert dwellers did.

4. Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice. How would you instruct them in the discipline? Why do you think this discipline is especially well-suited to the formation of a new believer?

One discipline I would encourage a new believer to practice is worship. I think this discipline is well-suited to the formation of a new believer because often we are not purposefully invested in worship. As I said in my blog post about worship, we come to church and sing and leave with a spiritual high, but that is about it. In my post, I talked about practicing preparation. I learned that preparation is an important part of worship. When I prepare, it's like doing warm-ups before a soccer game. I warm up so it won't take me twenty minutes to get into the flow of playing. This way, I can play to the best of my ability the whole time. It is essentially the same in worship. When we prepare, we are able to appreciate how the worship leader has formed the service, we are able to genuinely interact with our fellow church members, and we are ready to listen to what the preacher has been led to speak about that day. It's pointless to only half participate; therefore let's do what we can to contribute the most and get the most from our worship experience. I would probably explain this discipline to a new believer the way I just did. I will explain to them that church is an important aspect of becoming a Christian. In our society, it seems to be a fad for people to say that they like "Jesus" but don't like "religion." I don't want to let my newly believing friends to fall into this trap. Church may seem "religious" but it is a beautiful way to interact with God and with the body of believers. Once again, I tangent. Summary: Preparing for worship is beneficial to a new Christian because it helps them grow spiritually and keeps them safe from the lies that society may tell them about Christianity.

5. Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians have battled against. Identify and describe an area of weakness you observe in the Kuyper College student population. What spiritual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?

One area of weakness I think I see in the Kuyper College community is that as a whole, we have a huge ego. We are all so proud of our knowledge of the Bible and our calling to do ministry. So many of us think we already know it all and that whatever way we act is automatically God-honoring. We tend to broadcast the good things we do but avoid the bad. We will bring up prayer requests in class for a friend who is struggling spiritually, but never for ourselves. This is why I think confession would be a good practice for the whole community of Kuyper College to try. Being truly honest about what our daily struggles and sins are can be a freeing and humbling experience. If people here were able to confess their sins with each other, it would help us remember that we all have sin. This realization can in turn help us even more in our ministry as we witness to other people who struggle with sin and are searching for forgiveness.

6. What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper College who will be practicing these disciplines?

A piece of advice I would give to students taking spiritual formation next semester is: TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! It could be easy to practice these disciplines on a surface level without truly trying to grow. I began this semester excited about what were going to do... and I am still excited about it. By allowing God to truly use these disciplines to transform you, you will see yourself become involved in a deeper relationship with Him.