Fasting and Filling

Fasting is feasting on the Word of God.

Chew on that one for a while.

When I think of fasting, I think of radical Christians who are extremely self-disciplined and in tune with the Holy Spirit. I think of people who have a holy aura about them, as though abstaining from food makes one person more righteous than another person. Additionally, I think that people who fast are crazy.

Food is good. I like it. God gave us food, which is awesome. And my mother is a good cook, which makes me enjoy food even more (when I get the chance to go home, that is). In fact, in our household, we have so many memories and inside jokes around food it's almost unreal.

I have never thought fasting from food was necessary for "normal" Christians, such as myself. I have heard that people who fast feel closer to God, but I honestly had no idea, before I fasted this weekend, what that actually meant. I have, however, fasted from things like Pinterest, Facebook, solitaire, and normal breakfast food (I ate only oatmeal ) for Lent. Fasting from those things was either a reminder to pray, or a lesson on how to spend my time in more God-honoring ways. However, fasting from these never required me to fully depend on God. When I fasted before, I tended to turn to other time-consuming things that still did not cause me to get more involved in the Word of God.

Thus, I decided to really abstain from food this time. Foster recommends starting small for beginners, so I decided to fast from lunch on Sunday to lunch on Monday, meaning I would skip two meals. I felt a little bit like I was not giving enough, but let me tell you, skipping those two meals was excruciating for me.

First of all, practically minutes after I was done eating lunch (and convincing myself I could have dessert, too), I noticed my roommate had put new candy in the our candy dish, so what did I do? Helped myself. Approximately ten minutes later, when I realized what I was doing, I spit it out. But I didn't let that one hiccup get me down. I was still feeling confident about my fast.

As dinner time rolled around, I started to feel sorry for myself. Everyone was eating! Except me. And then my roommate started snacking, and even snacks I am not a huge fan of started to sound good. I felt myself getting a teensy bit grumpy that I did not get to eat.

Then I remembered: Oh! The point of fasting is to feast on the word of God! So I started to read the Bible. And read, and read, and read. Over the period of my 22 hour fast (okay, Sunday lunch is late and I have to eat lunch early on Mondays because of my schedule, so it couldn't be a full 24 hours...) I read 21 chapters of the Bible (which is a lot for me... I'm not sure how many chapters other people try to read on a daily basis). I even started sneakily reading a chapter in one of my classes because, let me tell you, I was hungry. And when I was reading the Bible, my stomach grumbled less.

In addition to this crazy amount of Bible reading, I found myself praying more. As I was doing the dishes, I prayed. As I was worshiping on Sunday night, I had to stop singing in order to sit down and pray. Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I was convicted by the words being sung and the words in my heart.

I don't really get it. It was like this mystical thing where my dependence on food was suddenly transferred to dependence on God. I loved it.

One of the most profound things I noticed in my fast was that I didn't even have room in my brain to fall into the "normal" sins I commit. I was basically too busy to think about those sins because I was thinking about food. I feel like it is pathetic that it was so difficult for me to skip two measly meals. I kept thinking about how much I just wanted to eat. And you could say that my fixation on food was its own type of sin. But I think I also view it as a release from my usual self. This fast allowed me to draw closer to God because the thing I was struggling had to do with my very survival; it was not the trivial things that cause me to stumble. I didn't want to have anything to do with those other sins because if I did, they would take me away from my lifeline: Jesus.

So now I am trying to work on that. I am trying to remember that I really do depend on God for daily life, and that I do not have to be a victim to my sin. I am also remembering that, no, I don't have to eat that candy bar.

Even though my stomach was empty for those few hours, I was filling up with the grace of God. Thanks be to Him.

May you be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Sara Joy

Practicing Prayer (by accident)

I apologize, right off the bat, for this blog post. We were supposed to practice prayer this week, and I am pretty sure I failed.

I failed because I had planned to do one sort of prayer, and found myself doing another. The problem was, this "other" sort of prayer has been somewhat in my routine of late. It was not necessarily stretching. I did not feel like I was practicing anything new.

But I talked to God. So that should count, right?

Okay, I'll give some background.

Prayer has been on my mind in a particular way this semester because part of the living-learning community that I am a part of is that we lead Bible studies, and the one I happen to co-lead is about prayer. This Bible study is focused on what the Bible has to say about prayer, but it is also extremely practical, too. We spend a large portion of our Bible studies praying. Each week, we have a different practice of prayer that we focus on, so we all get a chance to act it out. In doing this, I have been learning about different ways to pray throughout the day.

So I feel like I took a shortcut because my practice of prayer was acted out during Bible study. I didn't mean for that to be the experience I wanted to write about, but when I looked back in Celebration of Discipline to get an idea of how I wanted to practice prayer, I realized that my prayer during Bible study addressed aspects of prayer that Foster talked about.

The best part about this prayer is that it was so organic. One of the members shared how she was struggling spiritually. As we were discussing prayer, as usual, she brought up the point that Foster addresses in Celebration of Discipline: "It is easy for us to be defeated right at the outset because we have been taught that everything in the universe is already set, and so things cannot be changed. And if things cannot be changed, why pray?"

Our Bible study turned into a prayer session for her and for the spiritual warfare that has been pervading our campus. We didn't cover all the points we had laid out to discuss, but that was not important. What was important was that we took the chance to uplift our sister. I prayed with the expectation that what we were praying for would happen, trying to exemplify the Bible pray-ers that Foster brings up right after he writes the aforementioned quote.

This also incorporated practicing prayer against evil. This semester, there has been a crazy amount of spiritual warfare. I have never felt so much spiritual oppression in my life, perhaps because I am growing spiritually and because so many people at our college are on fire for God. I have prayed against it many times in the past few months, which is why I feel guilty for writing about this prayer, because I have been practicing it a lot lately. Yet every time, it is a new battle. I am honored to be able to fight in this war and speak the name of Jesus against evil. Even so, sometimes it is hard. But I do know that the power of prayer is astounding.

Through prayer, we have the privilege to participate in God's plan. Yes, he has everything planned out, but our prayers do have significance.

The great thing is, I checked in with our struggling sister today and she is doing much better. She has felt God's presence and had some good conversations with people who have encouraged her. It was an answer to our prayer. I realized as I was checking in with her how rarely I go back to see if my prayers were answered. Sometimes when I pray for other people, it is hard, and even a little uncomfortable, to ask them how they are doing. What if God did not answer our prayer in the way we wanted? What if the cancer came back, or the student failed their exam, or the friend did get the abortion? What do we do then?

My answer would be, pray some more. Pray, as Foster advises, for guidance. When we ask for guidance before we pray, according to Foster, we will already know what God's will is. And to add to his point, praying for guidance even after our petitions go unanswered can help us understand, even the tiniest bit, why things happened the way they did. It might not be an answer that gives us complete satisfaction in the situation, but it can at least start to give us peace. And sometimes we will never understand.

I think that is all I have to say. I failed at practicing prayer because I did not go out of my way to practice what I wanted to practice. Despite my depravity, however, I was able to experience God in another prayer experience. I learned this week that it can be daunting to pray, especially because God has everything planned out. But I also learned how valuable prayer is, and what a privilege it is to commune with God, who is so big but takes the time to talk with me.

I am praying for a profound last line to this blog post, but nothing is coming to me. Maybe God doesn't want me to be earth-shattering? I don't know. I'll pray about that next.

Until next week,
Sara Joy

Part 2: Changing Plans

Click here to read Part 1: Discovery

 Until the end of high school, I kept growing. I especially learned how to let God change the plan I had for my life. As many of you readers know, I am a student at Kuyper College. However, it was not my plan to come here until my senior year of high school. All through elementary and high school, I had planned to go to Calvin College. I’m not really sure what brought on the change that caused me to come to Kuyper. I volunteered in the Kuyper library the summer before my senior year, which got me connected with some of the staff, faculty and student workers there. It was a slow process of God showing me all the things I could be a part of. Suddenly, I woke up one morning during my senior year and thought, “I’m going to Kuyper College.” So that is what I did.

 The fact that I am here now is a wonderful blessing. Through that experience, God taught me that even though I think I have a plan, he has a better one. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if I didn’t go here. One thing is for sure: you wouldn’t be reading this massive blog post.

 Another important step I took in learning that God always has a better idea up his sleeve was going to Facing Your Future the summer after I graduated high school. Facing Your Future is a program put on by Calvin Seminary for juniors and seniors interested in going into some type of ministry. There are about 30 students from all over the United States and Canada who attend the program. Signing up for this was waaay out of my comfort zone. I did it because my youth leader basically told me I had to (there is a pattern of this in my life).  I sent in the application, but I prayed that I wouldn’t get it. Unfortunately for me, I was accepted into the program. I decided to take it as a sign from God. So I went.

 FYF turned out to be the best three weeks of my life. I made great friends, I learned about God, and I was able to see ways I could practice ministry as a social worker. It reconfirmed my decision to attend Kuyper and pursue a social work major.

 While I was there, I happened to meet a boy who lived in West Michigan. I had finally gotten over my boyfriend from high school and was ready to start afresh. Because going on FYF felt so God-ordained, I thought that if I met someone there, that would be God-ordained, too.I thought that since I finally sincerely loved God, the man of my dreams would come as a reward for that.Turns out, that's not how it works. We dated for about 8 months and he decided to call it quits. And you know what? I am okay with that. God had something better in store for me. But it did not feel like that right away. At first it felt like God had taken away something that he had promised to me. 

 This was definitely another period of trial. I still struggle around this issue, in fact. For some reason, relationships with boys are my sensitive spot. I want a Christ-centered relationship so badly, but I also fail so miserably at them. I feel like all my struggles with God revolve around romantic relationships with men (that is not true at all, actually. They are what I’m writing about, but God and I have had some talks about other things). Sometimes, I think it would be easier to go off into the wilderness, become a nun and avoid the temptation altogether. However, something I learned while reading about the Desert Fathers was this: “Although it is a painful struggle, I am profiting from having to carry this burden.”

 As Christians, we struggle. That’s just how it goes. It helps us endure, build our spiritual muscles, and cling to God to keep on the right path. So I am grateful for this struggle and am going to face it head-on.

 Which brings me to the next major relationship in my story, which was also another major change of plans. Again, it is one with a boy (okay, we’re adults; I suppose I should say ‘man’). A little over a year ago I started seriously liking this guy, which was very much not in my plan. Somehow he liked me back and we began dating nine months ago. This relationship is different from the other ones. I find myself turning to God when I am anxious about it, experiencing conflict, or when I am purely love-struck and content. Early on in our relationship, we discussed how we wanted God to be at the center of it. Sometimes we do a good job and sometimes we don’t. I fall into the same sin of idolizing my boyfriend that I struggled with before. Recently, I had to confess that sin to my boyfriend so that he could help me in my struggle. I have grown in my relationship with God through this relationship with this man because I have learned that it is okay to be honest with other believers. I've admitted when I have not been doing too well at reading my Bible, and he’s admitted when he is struggling as well. He has encouraged me to trust in God and not worry about the future, and I've recently been trying to remind him of the same thing. We are by no means perfect, but for the first time, I feel like I am in a relationship that is growing. It is a blessing. I was terrified to begin it, because I knew what my messy past looked like, but I think confronting my struggles has helped me grow closer to God. 

 And now I am moving into a new stage of life. I am thinking about the future, and what God has planned for me there. I've learned through my story that whatever plan I make, God has a different, better plan in store. So I’m trying not to plan. We shall have to see how that works out. In the past few weeks I have been struggling with my major and wondering if God has something else planned for me. Thanks to some wise counseling from people close to me, I have been reminded that I am here for reason. I’m trying to trust Him.

So where does this all leave me? Three words: Thankful, Struggling, Joyful. First, I am thankful for all the relationships God has put in my life. They have all taught me important things. I haven't even been able to mention my beautiful college and high school friends who have stuck with me through it all. They are a major blessing to me and I see God in them daily. Second, I am struggling. I struggle with my sin on a daily... no, make that hourly, basis. But, third, I am joyful. I am joyful because God has taken these burdens away from me. I am free in him! I have been transformed from the me that could not own her faith to the me that is working to share her faith with others. I fail. Constantly. But I live knowing that I am redeemed. I am also joyful in the fact that when hardships assail me, I am not alone. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has changed me into a new person. If I did not have Him, I know I would not be where I am today. And this relationship takes work, which is why I am taking this class and writing this blog. I can't wait to see how he transforms me in the future, near and far off. 

                

Part 1: Discovery

 There is one thing you should know about me: I love people. People give me energy and purpose. When people do not love me back, I am devastated. When people encourage me, I do my best to succeed in order to please them. In my spiritual journey, I have interacted with a great number of people. In fact, I would go so far as to say that my spiritual journey revolves around the relationships I have built (or unbuilt) with people throughout my life. These relationships have all, in some way or another, fed into the greatest relationship of all: mine with Jesus.

 So let’s start at the beginning.  I grew up in a Christian home. My first significant relationships were with my parents, who were involved in ministry, living in Turkey. To say the least, I was always surrounded by Jesus-followers. My whole life, my parents have been a great example of God’s unconditional love for me. When I was very young and got in trouble, my parents would put me in time-out. After I had thought about what I did, my dad would come into my bedroom, and we would talk about it. At the end, he would say, “How much do I love you? This much?” and he would hold his hands a few inches apart. “No!” I would say. “You love me BIG much!” And we would open our arms as wide as they would go and tumble into a great big hug. What I saw through this was that God loves me no matter what I do. I learned that saying sorry makes people feel better. I learned that sometimes you don’t need proper grammar to tell someone how much you love them, especially when you are telling God.

 As I moved into adolescence, I began to see God as a real being rather than an idea that my parents shared with me growing up. However, I was doubtful of his true existence. I did a great job of getting A’s in Bible class and memorizing verses. But it was hard for me to feel God’s real presence. Especially when my relationships with my friends were not doing so well. I had the typical hellish middle school experience, full of boy-drama and catty girls and climactic bathroom interventions. In the midst of that, I also had some God experiences. I remember one specific instance when a friend of mine was extremely nervous before a performance of our middle school play. I sat down with her and we prayed. That was a very significant moment for me, because for probably the first time I had shared God with someone else.

 Even so, I was far from truly discovering God. I was in an atmosphere saturated with knowledge about the Bible, catechism, and worship songs. Nothing was my own. This is the root of my problem. I struggle with discerning the line between what is my actual relationship with God and what is my relationship with the environment around me. As I have learned: they are not the same thing.

 This has never been more obvious than in my relationship with my high school boyfriend. To some, this may seem silly. Who has a significant relationship when they’re an underclassman in high school?

 Well, me.

 My life revolved around my boyfriend. I would fantasize about him constantly, I would tell him all my secrets, and I would spend a majority of my time at school with him. When things with us were going well, my relationship with God was going well. When things with my boyfriend were going badly, my relationship with God was going badly. My boyfriend was my idol—it was not God I worshiped. Eventually, though, the ups and downs took their toll. My boyfriend and I broke up at the end of the summer before my junior year.

 When we broke up, I felt like the world around me crumbled, even though I had been the one who broke it off. I had no desire to pray or read the Bible. The words in the Bible were like ashes in my 

mouth- dry, dusty, and gross. I did not want to talk to anyone in my family—I hardly even talked to my friends. This period in my life could be known as “relationship-less.” And that may explain why it was such a dark time. Because I found all my worth in my boyfriend, when he was taken out of the picture I had nothing left. Because he has been my god, I no longer had any meaning in my life. And one thing I did know: I had absolutely no desire to turn to the God that I had learned about my whole life. 

 Ironically, during this time I was a part of my high school youth group’s leadership team. The only reason was because my youth pastor wanted me to be. We had our first meeting of the year, before school started. We had to go around the room and share why we were excited to be on leadership. I honestly could not think of a single reason. People were sharing things like, “I’m passionate about youth group!” “I want to learn more about God!” But all I said was, “I respect the leaders and want to spend more time with them.” Translation: I was forced to be here today.

 Even though I had the worst attitude possible, God managed to work through others to get to me. We had a speaker that day that encouraged us to recognize a change we had to make in our life, set a goal to change it, and to get an accountability partner to help us make that change. For a long time, I stared at the paper he gave us to write down our thoughts. I did not want to make a real change. I knew I could pray more, read my Bible more, and generally love God more. So I scribbled down “pray more” and “read the Bible more.” I knew I wasn't going to do them, though. I did not take the exercise seriously at all. Since I had to, I wrote down my math teacher, Michele, as an accountability partner because she was my favorite teacher. We left the meeting and I was fully expecting this inspiring talk to be like all other inspiring talks—they affect you for about a day or so, but then you carry on with your life and forget about them. But I could not shake this talk, no matter how hard I tried. My math teacher’s face kept popping up in my head. Every time I would see her, my heart would squirm. For two weeks, the thought that I had to talk to her would not leave my head. So I finally decided to talk to her. I rationalized with myself, saying I didn't even have to talk to her about God. I could just talk to her about the boy drama I was currently experiencing (because, long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I were having some drama). So after a few failed attempts, I finally went up to her and said, “Can we talk sometime?”

 “Sure!” she said. “What about?”

 “Oh, just… boy stuff. And… God stuff.” Oops! It came out! I admitted I wanted to talk about God to her! She smiled and said, “Okay, how about next week Thursday after school?” So I nodded my head and left her classroom. The tension in my stomach eased. When we went out for coffee, we talked for hours. First, we covered drama, of course. And she gave me some sound advice. But then we got to the real stuff. I took a deep breath. “Why do you believe in God?” I asked her.

 Fortunately, Michele had the words ready. I don’t even remember all of them now, but I do remember that I was struggling to pay attention. A lot of it went over my head. It didn't matter that I had all this Bible education before; I just did not get it. But I saw her joy in talking about God. How could someone so intelligent like Michele have such enthusiasm in talking about a being that she could not see? If she believed, it had to be true. She gave me a tool to read the Bible that she thought would help me. It is known as SOAP (you can do your own research on that). I went home that night, somewhat skeptical, but ready to try it. The verse was about God hiding his people from evil. Regarding the boyfriend drama I was experiencing, that was exactly what I needed to read. I saw that God was going to protect me. So I continued to read the Bible. As the weeks and months went on, I would see patterns in my readings, and I began to see how I was being changed. I saw how Scripture was living and active. No longer were the words of the Bible old and dry. They were full and rich with meaning. They were being gently whispered to me by my loving Savior. I was utterly transformed through the Word of God, all by itself.

 I continued meeting with Michele. She kept me accountable and encouraged me. I still had questions about faith.  But I stuck with it, and God kept drawing me closer to himself.  Eventually, a few months after our initial coffee date, I said that I really wanted a way to act out my faith now. I finally knew it was real, and I needed to take the next step. She knew exactly that that was what I was going to say. She asked me if I would like to be a Discipleship leader at school. At my high school, we split off into small groups known as Discipleship groups after chapel. They are usually led by a faculty or staff member, a parent volunteer, or a senior class leader. I was only a junior, but Michele thought I was ready to be a leader for people younger than me. I was intimidated, but jumped at the opportunity.

 My first official day of being a discipleship leader was also my 17^th birthday. That morning, as part of the discipleship leader’s group, I helped lead devotions for the faculty and staff before school started. In this devotion session, I shared my testimony of how God had worked in my life. Needless to say, it was an amazing day of growth for me. It was probably the best birthday ever. In some ways, I regard it as my birth into God’s family because I was, for the first time, owning my identity as a child of God. However, God was not finished with me yet. 

Click here to read Part 2: Changing Plans

Making a Mess of Meditation

Often, when I think of meditation, I think of monks sitting in a church in some sort of silent prayer. Sometimes, I think of meditation as reading the Bible. I always think of meditation as intimidating. Is meditation supposed to reveal some mystic message from God? Is it just a time to find your inner balance with the assistance of a few Bible verses? This week, we were supposed to practice the discipline of meditation. As we discussed this in class, I felt like I was learning about a whole new concept. One of the things we talked about that struck me was how humans tend to need a mediator between ourselves and God. In meditation, it's just us. Alone with God. Now if that doesn't scare you, what does?

But at the same time, it's exciting. Yes?

I did not know what to expect from my period of meditation. One of the problems was that I spent forever worrying about when I would meditate. I had a packed schedule all Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, which would be my ideal times to meditate. To say the least, I found it ironic that I was stressing so much about something that was supposed to (maybe?) make me feel at peace.

I finally figured it out, and sneaked away to do my meditation on a freezing, windy morning. I was determined to do my meditation outside, because, I mean, who meditates indoors like a chump? (Just kidding, for those of you who like to avoid frostbite.)

While I was out there, battling the cold and feeling self-conscious about my rubber-ducky fleece blanket I had towed outside with me, I tried some of the things that Richard Foster talks about in his book, Celebration of Discipline. I first calmed myself down and pictured Jesus sitting with me. Then I gave all the things on my mind to God. Let me tell you, that was a long list. Then I sat there for a moment: empty.

Next, I prayed that God would fill me up with things that would help me stop worrying about all the stuff I had just given to him. I prayed that he would fill me with peace and love and all that kind of warm and fuzzy stuff. And then I sat.

And sat. (And shivered... it was quite chilly.)

And waited for some miracle to happen. Maybe I would have an epiphany and God would tell me exactly what he wanted me to do with my life. Maybe I would have a vision of Jesus picking me up and saying something profound to me.

Nothing happened, so naturally my mind went back to what I had been worrying about: my homework, my sick friend, my career choice.

Then I would remember that this time was for meditating, not worrying. I would try to focus my wandering on things like the fat squirrel romping by, or the way the wind was sifting through the bright orange leaves of the autumn trees. At least those would focus on nature. And to some extent, that worked. I felt I was enjoying God's creation.

And that was that. No epiphanies, no visions. Even so, it was wonderful to have a quiet time. I talked to God, and I felt his presence, even amid all the worry and wandering thoughts.

I'll be honest, though, and say that my meditation experience did not have a profound effect on the rest of my day. I went back to my apartment and looked at the list of homework assignments I had to get done that day. My exact verbal reaction: "Shit." Probably not the greatest thing to say, especially when you've just come back from a meditation session.

Even so, as I said before, I see how meditation can be a useful tool in bringing oneself closer to God. I enjoyed the quiet time and the chance to be away from all the stress I was experiencing. It felt good to purposely remove myself from the clutter of everyday life. My challenge to myself is to allow that experience to carry over into the rest of my day. I wonder how we can encourage one another in our Jesus-following communities to pursue this discipline. I think it would be so healthy to unplug-- don't bring your headphones or your cell phone with you. Don't even bring your Bible. Let it just be you and God. If we all did that, maybe at least one of us would have that life-altering epiphany.

I'll ponder that some more.

Until next week,
Sara Joy

Confession and Transformation

In her book, Girl Meets God, Lauren Winner devotes a chapter to her experience with the practice of confession. The first time she went to a priest to confess, she felt awkward and exposed, but eventually she came around to the idea. "I say confession," she writes, "because the church teaches that we should, and I say it because, when I don't, I feel over-full... in a sticky, sweaty, eaten-too much way."

That is how I felt before I practiced confession this week. As you have probably read, last week I wrote out my confessions before church on Sunday. That was helpful. But there is something about voicing your sins-- your disgusting, private sins-- to another human being that makes you truly feel forgiven and renewed. It is something you feel you should do, but you just don't (just why that is can be a discussion for a later date).

It was an act of God that pushed me to do a confession with another person. A friend, who is also in this spiritual formation class, asked me to confess with her. We went out into the wooded trails on our college campus, on a perfect fall day. We caught up for a while, and eventually flowed into confessing our sins. We were raw, open and honest. I told her things I struggled with that I hate to admit to people besides myself (and honestly, even admitting my sins to myself is difficult). I finished, and looked up at her, hoping she would not think I was a horrible Jesus follower. Instead of judgment, she looked into my eyes with encouragement. "Your sins have been forgiven," she said. I closed my eyes, and exhaled. It is true. My sins have been washed clean.

By pronouncing what my sins were, I was owning up to them. I was admitting that I was not proud of them. I was bringing someone else into my struggle. I was revealing that I want to change.

Honestly, confessing my sins is often discouraging. I confess, want to change, and then I fall right back into that same, stupid sin. Yet knowing that I had to confess to one of my peers-- in addition to writing about it in a blog post-- made me think a little more about how I was going to respond. After confession, my friend encouraged me in ways to work on the struggles I had shared with her. The rest of the day, I remained in prayer and later in the week I talked about my struggle with a few other people and asked them  to pray for me as I confronted my sin. I was determined to do it right this time.

Long story short: I think I am making some progress. Winner also writes in her book, "the point [of confession] is not just to be forgiven, it is to be transformed" (emphasis added). As I re-read it in preparation to write this post, I had to smile when I came to that quote. That is what this blog is about, right? Being transformed. And I could not do so if I did not have community (close friends and internet audience alike) around me to encourage me to do so.

So here's to transformation. Here's to letting go of the old things and welcoming in the new. I encourage you, if you have not done so, to find someone to confess your sins with in this coming week.

God bless,
Sara Joy